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"Humanism was not invented by man, but by a snake who suggested that the quest for autonomy might be a good idea." ~ R. C. Sproul
Rising above the high plains below, the sand and limestone outcrops dotted with cedars and scrubs beckoned us for months. From miles away you can see the massive bluff towering 800 feet into the fire-red and tangerine glow of the evening sun; imparting its shadow across the river, meandering lazily below. Green, verdant grasslands and deep arroyos passing through the landscape are contrasted with the rocky boulder-strewn slopes, gradually giving way to sheer faces gently eroded by winds for ages. Scotts Bluff Monument keeps a wary eye on the valley it looks over, and the small towns that crop against it in the Nebraska panhandle.
Long before we made our trek to Scottsbluff, Nebraska for a travel nurse assignment, Scotts Bluff Monument was making this impression upon travelers bound for the West coast. The Oregon Trail and the Mormon Trail both utilized the geologic structure as a landmark by which to guide their way through the endless plains of the Midwest along the North Platte River. The bluff received its name by way of one man named Hiram Scott, a fur trapper employed by the Rocky Mountain Fur Company. Scott was injured and left for dead after an expedition north of the monument, and his body was found in the vicinity of the bluffs.
The animal habitat of the bluff has evolved since the first settlers came into the area almost two centuries ago. There at one point in time were vast numbers of bison, grizzly bears, bighorn sheep, and elk; however, these species have moved out and are more than likely not reemerging in this area any time soon. There are, however, a number of indigenous animals that still call Scotts Bluff home. These animals include many different species of birds, prairie dogs, foxes, many amphibians, fish…and snakes.
“Why did it have to be snakes?” ~ Indiana Jones
I generally find that I am quite a logical, sensible, and rational person. I’m still on the fence as to whether these are quantifiable “good” traits to have. The reason I say this, is that at times, I think over-analyzing a situation or having a void of emotion is detrimental. It’s useful, sure, but sometimes ya gotta just run on emotion and that gut-feeling you get to make decisions. If only I knew someone I could learn how to be less rigid and more in-tune with my emotions from.
Well, hello there, Emily.
Emily is an absolute perfect counterpart to myself. God, I have to hand it to you, you really know what you’re doing, dontcha? Sensible, inquisitive, beautiful, and wears her heart on her sleeve in the best way possible. So many qualities that I admire and are blessed with experiencing on a daily basis. She tempers my cold-steel-like demeanor and brings out the best in me, which is kind of hard to do in my opinion. What on Earth can this girl not do?
She cannot, and I repeat, cannot handle the thought of being near or potentially near any kind of snake. Emily’s Achilles heel is the same as many others who have an instinctual fear of snakes, but I’m pretty sure hers is turned up to 3,000. Never have I seen anyone with such an extreme fear of anything. I believe that if you put a group of people on an airplane and told them they were going to have to jump out of the emergency exit without a parachute, you would see less fear than she gets when snakes are even mentioned. Given all of this, it was probably really helpful when people at the hospital told us we “…just really have to go check out the monument,” followed by, “Oh yeah just watch out there are snakes like, everywhere up there right now. It’s so weird, lol smileyface”
We have been trying to get the opportunity to go up to the monument since March, when we first saw it from our campground covered in snow. We have seen the landscape change since then; going from a beautiful blanket of snow, to a browned rocky giant, to now a lively green monument worthy of landmark status. But given that we have been working night shift, these opportunities are few and far between. Recently we were up at the crack of noon and thought it may be the perfect day to finally head up to the summit, and grab some views from above the valley floor.
I don’t regret our decision. Honestly. I don’t typically like to put words in peoples’ mouths, but I think that Emily regrets a little more of my adventurous nature than she would let on. By no means do I believe she didn’t want to go up there, it’s been on our to-do list for months now. I do, however, believe that she immediately regretted her decision about 150 feet into the north summit trail.
Have you ever heard a rattlesnake? It is a very distinct sound. Experts tell us that these rattlers only deploy this noise to warn other creatures that they are near and to back off before they attack. As we made our way up the paved trail towards the summit, Emily’s anxiety was palpable. The stories of recent sightings, bites, rushed ER visits, and amputation were filling her head as we briskly strolled among the grasses and cedars. Not long after beginning our beautiful walk in nature, it quickly turned into a trail of terror.
“There, did you hear that?” She quipped, multiple times in succession. I was calm, logical, level-headed (of course) “No, there’s nothing.” That’ll help.
“No, seriously, there’s something there, I hear a snake!”
“There’s no snakes up here, it’s too hot and the sun is directly overhead. They are all hiding trying to stay cool.”
“No, I’m telling you Kyle, there’s a snake here and it’s rattling. Can’t you hear that?”
Tears fall.
I am literally the worst comforter of all time right now.
“OK, let’s go back to the truck then, come on.”
She is literally unable to move. Tremulous, panicking, and borderline hyperventilating; my amazing wife has been rendered powerless by a phantom snake that for some reason sounds like a bird flapping its wings in a tree enjoying a blue-sky afternoon. I am at a loss. I feel powerless. Do I go looking for this dastardly ghost-snake and teach it a lesson for scaring her? How do I besmirch this devil spawn serpent of death? Show yourself, coward!
After what seemed like a half-an-hour, Emily mustered the courage and strength to trek back through the pathway where she heard this prairie rattlesnake. I was in a haste and jumped out ahead, guarding the path like a chivalrous knight ready to vanquish any foe that would harm milady. This was wrong as well, as I was begged to stand in lock-step with her back to the parking lot atop the bluff. I secured her into the safety of the award-winning Toyota Tundra, and asked if I should continue without her. I was given a blessing to go forth and prosper, and to be careful. That I did. I went and got lots of pictures, took in the views, and contemplated on the nature of snakes.
As our good friend and youth pastor Brandon said once, “I can’t stand snakes. There’s a reason they are cursed in the Bible.”
Touché.
-Kyle
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